David's Story:
The ultrasound technician said "Mr. Litman, you have a son!". shortly after my inner comedian insists on replaying an old Robin Williams joke ("...and he's HUGE!!"..."No, that's the umbilical cord Mr.Wliams..."), I feel a wave of vertigo as the implications hit me full force...I am a FATHER! There is another life that is going to be looking to me for support, guidance...even its very survival depends on me!
I had no real models to draw upon, other than the negative examples of my father and stepfather -- I certainly knew how not to bring up a child. My mother tried her best, and I'm certainly grateful to her and empathic to what it was like for her to raise a child on her own, but she was the product of what we like to call the "dominant paradigm", relying (as many do) on punishments, guilt and manipulation to get her needs met.
Still, did have some things going in my favor. I'd spent much of my adult life addressing those childhood wounds, through workshops, spiritual study and practice, and my own training as a psychologist.
But as I engaged in parenting, I found that I needed more! Yet when I went searching for parenting help on the web and elsewhere, what I found seemed to be focused only on kid's behavior and how to modify it and manipulate them through punishments. rewards and other means -that I already knew! And I knew that it just didn't feel right to me. It wasn't getting me what I really wanted from my relationship with my children.
Fortunately, life has a way of bringing us what we need, if we are open and willing to receive it. Through my work as a corporate trainer and consultant, I was exposed to the NonViolent Communiction model of Marshall Rosenberg. And through our children's schools (mostly alternative) I discovered and studied the work of Alfie Kohn, Barbara Coloroso, Aletha Solter and others (many of whom are or will be on our advisory board) who helped me considerably in my quest for a better way to connect, work and play with children.
Yet, once again, as I worked hard to implement these ideas into my daily life with my children and the children that I work with as a teacher and mentor, I realized that understanding a concept is only part of the solution. It can be incredibly difficult to implement it! I also saw this again and again with the mentors, teachers and caregivers with whom I worked and associated.
So seeing the need, Christina and I started ChildShift as a way to share what we have learned and to deepen my own practice as a father, mentor, and teacher. I can think of no more important work on the planet than helping those who are helping our children, and helping myself raise my two enlightened, healthy, happy, creative and fully expressed children!
I look forward to being of service to you.
Namaste,
David